It's Greek to Me

I am an avid road cyclist and last week completed my third Bicycle Tour of Colorado (BTC), a stage ride versus race, that travels through the mountains of Colorado every June for 7 days and usually comprises around 500 total miles of riding. It’s a challenging event for sure, but made sublime and inspiring by the vistas and scenes we all are fortunate to experience. This year’s ride was no exception as we rode through well-known towns like Estes Park, Granby, Steamboat Springs, Vail and Frisco and some lesser known gems like Rollinsville, Toponas, Oak Creek, Burns, State Bridge and Yampa. And we rode over high altitude roads like Trail Ridge, Rabbit Ears Pass, Vail Pass and Loveland Pass. The world just looks and feels different from the seat of a bicycle.

One town we over-nighted in was Glenwood Springs, CO. A pretty cool town, hard by the banks of the Colorado River with an authentic Western heritage—Doc Holliday died there. The river is raging at the moment due to all of the snow melt and runoff, and it defines Glenwood as a river town. While walking around town one evening I stopped into the Hotel Denver, as I’d not seen it before. A nice example of how to renovate a beautiful old hotel and yet somehow keep it fresh. And on the wall in the lobby of the hotel is this quote:

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man”.

The words belong to Heraclitus, an ancient Greek philosopher (535 to 475 B.C.) who must have known something about rivers, and life. It struck me first as rather cryptic, almost like a riddle. But as I considered the words, what came up for me were the twin notions of flow and change. The metaphor of “the river of life” is not a new one, but this Greek fella seemed to put a new twist on it for me. I’m not sure I can articulate what that is exactly but little did I expect to walk into a hotel lobby in Glenwood Springs and be so surprised and inspired by the words of an ancient Greek.

But I do know that we followed the river that next day on our ride, watching it flow and change, and I realized that we, the riders, were all flowing and changing along with the river—part of the same force. And we knew that by the end of the ride we’d not be the same people as when we started—we’d come to the end of the trail different, changed, inspired… and you bet, tired. I guess that why we do it—to get in the flow, feel the change and let it sweep us along while we ride. It’s quite an experience.

Self-Mastery

I am often asked about executive coaching—about how it works and why someone would engage an executive coach. There are a number of good reasons why business leaders work with a trusted advisor who maintains an objective, but supportive, third-party perspective in providing clarity around a leader’s strengths, potential areas of growth and barriers to breaking their less-desirable patterns professionally and personally. Usually, the reasons come down to wanting a more balanced, fulfilling career and life— with more joy and less stress—and to be accepted simply for who they are.

So, there is some work involved here—it does not just magically happen. At the foundation of it all is for leaders to begin, perhaps for the first time, the journey of self-mastery. And it is a journey, not a destination. It begins with building true self-awareness, of acceptance of who they are. This work is often about understanding behaviors that stem from their personalities, or egos. Next, it requires being open and responsive to feedback about themselves as leaders and people. This can lead to leaders discovering what really motivates them internally and learning how to tap into that energy to become more self-managing and self-propelled.

Over time, leaders see more clearly their place at work and in the world. The platform of self-awareness and acceptance enables them to develop a personal vision, supported by understanding their core values and purpose. This goes beyond the question “what do I want to accomplish?”—an important question, certainly—to asking “why am I on the planet, what’s my role here?”. The latter is a much bigger question, but one my coach asked me six years ago that I’m still working on via my personal journey of self-mastery.

The practice required to stay on the self-mastery path as a leader is to be a life-long learner, to be consistently curious about all manner of things and people. To be and remain engaged and connected, to not lose that child-like sense of wonder and yet remain grounded becuase sometimes you’re the one who has to make the tough decisions. In my judgment it’s a courageous choice because it’s a challenge to become an explorer in your own life—you may not be comfortable with everything you learn. However, you may grow beyond your wildest dreams.

Jim Cramer is an Elk

That’s right. Jim Cramer—the frenetic, genius, controversial, Harvard-educated and sometimes villified stock picking guru of “Mad Money” fame—is a member of the Elk’s club in Summit, NJ. I know this because I was recently pointed to an article about Cramer in the Sunday NY Times magazine.

The author of the article, Zev Chafets, spent a few days with Cramer before writing the piece and one evening was invited to Cramer’s Elks Club to meet the guys and play a little air hockey and shoot pool. Perhaps your first reaction to this news was like mine—seems a little unlikely and…what’s the catch? Turns out, there is no real catch according to the author, who does a good job objectively profiling Cramer I might add.

Cramer has had a roller-coaster ride of a life and by his own admission, feels lucky to be alive. And in his world, he’s a personality, a performer, an author who says he is sincerely trying to help the little guy make money in the stock market. He’s lost money of course, but made a lot more. In short, he’s a very visible dude. And yet here he is, hanging out with the local businessmen and leaders of Summit, NJ drinking beer and shooting pool. Why? He wants to be there—in my judgment he needs to be there. He says the Elks are “…good fathers, good men, good friends. To them, it comes naturally. It doesn’t to me. I learn from them”.

In my work with execs and high-achievers, I sometimes encounter folks like Cramer. And often, all they want is to be liked and accepted for who they are as human beings versus admired for their persona or net worth. And they yearn to spend time with good, grounded people—“good kings” as I call them. By the way, they can be male or female, these good kings. It’s not about gender, it’s about who they are at a soul level. Spending time with good kings, like the Elks of Summit, NJ, is healing for Cramer—that’s one of the reasons he’s become one of them. So, what’s the catch? There, he can just be Jim.

What You Always Wanted to Be

Recently a good friend of mine sent me a quote that defined, at least for one coach, what a coach is and does. The quote comes from Tom Landry, the legendary Dallas Cowboys coach during the team’s dominating performances in the 80’s and 90’s. Here’s what Landry said:

“A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear so you can see what you don’t want to see so that you can become what you’ve always wanted to be.”

I have to confess I like the quote and the intent of Landry’s message, although I don’t believe that an executive coach’s role is necessarily to tell his or her clients what to do. Working the client’s agenda and uncovering “the big want” for the client is the central focus of a coach’s job in my judgment.  Athletic teams are different—a little more of a command-and-control environment there.

But, Landry touched on something else that is important for coaches, and that is clearly identifying with the client what is blocking them from reaching their full potential or in Landry’s words “becoming what you always wanted to be”. Going to that place, to where your hidden or unrealized gifts reside, the backstairs of untapped or yet-to-be-unleashed genius—that takes courage. I’ve worked with folks who did not want to go there—at first. But eventually they gathered the nerve to face that fear and break through it, which is the first and toughest stage in catalyzing transformational change. I call this leaning in to fear, running towards it versus away from it—if you can’t get out of it, “it” being your current reality—get into it. What you will discover is that the fear is simply a story you’ve made up about yourself or your situation—it’s not truly real. Once you realize this, the path is much clearer and brighter because you can change the story and take definitive steps towards becoming what you always wanted to be.

Dick Schulte

Unbroken...Unreal

I just finished reading Laura Hillenbrand’s new book “Unbroken”. It is the amazing, true story of Louis Zamperini, a track Olympian in the 1930’s who became a B-24 bombardier in the Pacific theater of WW II. His plane crashed in the Pacific yet he survived, floating on a raft for many days before being captured by the Japanese. He was then interred in a series of POW camps—almost three years—until the war ended. Every time you thought it could not get worse for Louis as his story unfolded, it did.

It is difficult to put in our modern context what Louis endured and how he managed to come home alive. He suffered through the most harrowing and inhuman treatment a person could ever imagine. He witnessed many of his friends and fellow POW’s die tortuous deaths, sometimes for simply moving in their chair or asking a question. The inhumanity described in the book is just simply hard to believe—what is even harder to believe is that Louis, and many others, did survive and returned home to re-build themselves and their lives.

And yet. This is a story of triumph and redemption as well. For many, the war never ended after they got home. It haunted them until they passed. For others, like Louis, in spite of the challenges of re-entry into post-war America, he eventually flourished. He chose a life of service to underprivileged kids and gave willingly of himself and his resources. He did it via a spiritual awakening and discovering how to forgive even his most brutal captors—it allowed him to move on and make the world a better place.

So, if you’re ever having a bad day or are stuck or think there is no way out of your current situation, think about Louis, what he endured and the mental and physical pain he suffered—both from others and self-inflicted. How did he eventually learn to deal with it? He chose forgiveness and the first person he forgave was himself.

Dick Schulte